Why don't sharks eat clowns?
Cause they taste funny.
Well, I went diving. And I did good, all things considered.
Last week we learned that while your equipment is heavy on land it weights nothing in the water.
I had to go get a tank but I told them I couldn't carry it. It has three thousand pounds of air in it, I cant lift that much! One of the assistant instructors carried it for me. I told him I would breath it all and carry it back myself when it was empty. He was a happy guy he was laughing. Little did I know that he would become my personal assistant before the end of the session.
First we had to learn to put our tanks together. The breathing hose went on the right and the gauges went on the left, I kept checking my hands for the "L" and trying but I must have had like a European model or maybe I assembled it wrong or something cause everytime I tried to put the hoses on the tank with the valve away from me like the instructor was explaining, the hoses were on the wrong sides! So I would put the valve towards me and the instructor would say "No Cheryl, the valve goes away from you" But the hoses were on the wrong side! Very frustrating. My personal assistant is smiling again, he is very happy guy. He says try flipping the valve left to right instead of front to back. And the hoses are suddenly where they should be. He is smart, I will keep him.
Then we turn on the valve. Which way? I know nothing of valves. "Lefty lucy, righty tighty" I also know nothing of left and right. My personal assistant "Other left Cheryl" Thank you.
Now I roll my tank into the water and put it on. I have to make sure my weights are in place in my BC (vest) so they dont fall out while I am diving so I tug on the weight pocket and out it comes. Good thing I checked! I put it back in and tug again, out it comes, must be something wrong with the clip it wont stay in!
I tug on the pocket and out it comes. I put it back in and tug again, out it comes,I tug on the pocket and out it comes. I put it back in and tug again, out it comes, Everyone is now looking at me cause I am holding up progress here, but I have a problem this BC is defective or at least the clip is.
Over comes my personal assistant. He is a little too happy, he has this grin on his face like he takes the little bus to the dive site.
Apparently there is a quick release saftey feature on my BC and you release it by pulling on the pocket. He puts my weights back in and tells me "Dont do that" so I dont do that and the weights stay in.
Did you know that there are no left and right fins? My personal assistant is very smart.
Under water I can take my regulator out of my mouth and put it back and can take my mask on and off and clear it and can put air in and out of my BC (vest) without shooting up to the surface like a rocketship.
When we get to the diving part I get a dive buddy, he is the young guy who lapped me last week in the 200 mile swim. OK Maybe it was yards. We actually work well together. I can do a diver tow and push. I practiced on my buddy and then he practiced on me. I told him if he needed extra practice he could pull me around on all of our dives. He told me that I was a very generous person. I'm good like that.
During the open dive one of the other students kept falling on me and knocked the regulator out of my mouth. He had bouyancy control issues, so I just got out. I was cold any way cause I didn't wear my wetsuit. Next time I may have to bedazzle them with my wetsuit skills.
Next week will be all classroom work so I will not do any diving, but I will keep in touch
Love Cheryl