"The Wetsuit"

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea
Sponge Bob Squarepants!
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he,
Sponge Bob Squarepants!...

Hey all you scuba watchers!

Been busy.

First off I joined the Scuba Board. I now have a scuba handle, "Surelyshirly" Cool huh?

And scuba buddies in Florida waiting for me. Are they in for the surprise of their lives!

I also have added to my equipment bag. First I returned the divemask for one I can see out of. Can't do anything about the snorkel, will have to put my big girl pants on and deal with it. Unlike my wetsuit, more on that later.

Anyway I am writing this as I sit here cleaning my mask. With toothpaste. I have no idea why but that is what they told me to do. I opted for Colgates(I'm not a big fan of Crest), regular, I didn't think I needed the extra whitening (my new mask is blue, I am still very coordinated and I will need it) or extra breath freshener but I'm not sure about the fluoride. Is fluoride good for silicone? I will ask Jeeves.

He doesn't know but he will get back to me.

Remember my blue dive watch? It has gone off twice every night since I bought it, and I can't figure out how to turn it off. The first night I couldn't find it. I put it in the driveway and stomped on it. It is squished. I bought a dive computer, it is black and fits in my console.

I bought my fins, they are black, they stick to the livingroom rug. Use your imagination.

I picked up my BC and regulators and weights too. They weighed about 487 pounds when I put them on, I told the dive shop guy when he adds the air tank I will fall over on my back and wave my arms and legs in the air like a turtle. As it is they had to pick up my BC when I stood up or I wasn't getting up. He told me I can sit down and they will push me in. I'm not sure if he was being helpful or a wiseass.

They are very fond of me at the dive shop, apparently I am good for comic relief. They especially enjoyed selling me a 7mil wet suit. Several customers stayed for the show too.

It is black and 7mil is very thick and "toasty warm". It is 2 pieces, a pair of overalls and then a bermuda short length onesie with long sleeves. They sent me into the bathroom to put it on cause they said I would want to sit down after a while. After a while? They also only gave me the overall part cause they said I would want help with the rest. Two pieces, a jumper and a zip up the front one piece, clothes not brain surgery.

I got one leg in and a foot and had to sit down. Then I got it up over my shoulders with one knee pad on my knee and the other one below it and the Velcro of the shoulder strap stuck to my head. I was done, it was about 192 degrees in the thing and I walked with a limp. So I ventured out for help.

They said I was really quick, they didn't expect me so soon. And I had more on than they thought I would. Two customers came in, took one look at me and sat down to watch. Get a life huh and open the dammed door, its hot in here.
Now the onesie. There is a trick to them. I don't know it. I can tell you DONT MAKE A FIST WHEN YOU PUT YOUR ARM IN! they told me your dive buddy always helps you put your suit on and you always help them. I need 3 days notice, 2 dive buddies and the jaws of life.

After I got both pieces on I flapped my arms to make all the air in the suit come out the neck so they could see if it fit or if I needed a smaller size. F**** comedians these guys. They were thinking there was too big an airpocket in the back. The fact that my left boob was squished under my chin and my right boob was squished under my left armpit was OK but not too much airspace in the back or I would get cold. It was 248 degrees in this thing and I was starting to see pretty colors. I told them not to worry, it fit just fine. I was going to take it off.

I waddled over to the bathroom, my knees didn't bend and my legs did not come to within a foot and a half of each other. There was a step up to the bathroom. One snicker from the peanut gallery and I was going to knock them unconscious with my BC.

Once in the bathroom I got one arm out and figured I was going to have to buy the stupid thing just because I couldn't get it off. It is black and it is mine.

After I wear the suit 10 times they are going to put a certificate of achievement on the wall.

I came home and put it all in my bag. I can't lift my bag. But I am coordinated, and that is important.

Cheryl

Collecting Gear

Well it is 2 weeks to scuba lessons. Today i got my bag and regulator case. Dennis bought more insurance. He did that on Thursday too. He needs a hobby.

I had to order booties cause none fit and I bought a mask. I cant see out of it. My snorkel came by ups and Chris bit it.

I tried on 7341 wet suits. I bought a black 3/2 ripcurl. (that is scuba talk for it will cost Dennis another $300 for a warmer suit)

I didn't get a hood cause they didnt fit right. But more are coming in and gloves and weights and that is it. I bought a dive watch. Dennis doesnt have to teach me to tell time cause it is digital. it is good to 50 meters. I have no f****** idea how deep that is so dont ask. It is blue, they didn't have 100 meter watches in blue.
Remember, I am very coordinated.

When I am done I will be able to dive to 150 feet, that is deeper than my pool. cool huh?

How I Got Started

Guess what I got for my birthday?

Scuba diving lessons. I told Dennis I would forego the Harley for scuba diving lessons. (I lied)

We went and met the instructor and bought my BCD and my own regulator (with octopus and 3 dial gauges and pro kit (he can tell I will be good at it already) that has retractable lines to hold my "stuff" and flashlight and knife (he is giving me a dull blade cause Dennis doesn't think I should have sharp objects).

I have a wet suit and I still have to get a mask, fins, booties, hood and snorkel. I will get the tank for Christmas and will have to rent until then. (We'll see) (NOT) I will also need weights cause apparently poopie floats so I will be too light to get to the bottom. I apparently cannot just put rocks in my pockets. And I bought a BCD (thats dive talk allthough I think it stands for Beautifully Coordinated Details) that has lots of pockets just for that reason.

They said you dont have to be coordinated to dive. I still am taking no chances. I will go with a black BCD with blue braiding touches on the shoulder straps. A black wet suit, hood and booties and bring my color in in the snorkel and possibly mask and fins. I haven't decided to stick with the blue theme or go Blue and yellow or blue and pink. Coordination couldn't hurt. I have towels and a carry bag to match all the combos.

I start June 11 so all of you coming for 4th of July can come and watch that Sunday. I know I will impress you with my diviness expertise.

By July 22 I will be certified to swim in my pool and even deeper water! Can you imagine how I will entertain you at this summers bar-b-ques!

After that I will have something to do in Florida during the summer, when I am not snowboarding. In the winter I will miss Dennis, although we will be there in January and February next year arguing over buying property there. I can dive in between arguments.

There is a dive club on the island where we rented. I dont think I will be diving where there are alligators but I will have my retractable knife just in case. I am pretty sure it is waterproof and that is why I paid extra for it.
Life is about to get a lot more interesting.

Love

Cheryl
PADI CERT (thats dive talk)